In just a few short weeks, my first baby will be two. From the moment she entered this world she has had a fire in her soul. She has this ability to bring warmth to a room with just the twinkle in her eyes and the smile across her face. She plays with others, but often wanders off by herself, never afraid to explore. She has this fierce determination to never give up, even if it means trying a thousand times. She is independent and strong, only asking for help when she physically cannot do it anymore. And she is tough, tougher than I'll ever be.
In watching her grow and develop, I see glimpses of myself. She is an alpha. And because of that, she will be misunderstood by her peers and herself for her whole life. This I know all too well. In her heart, she will be warm and loving, seeking the very best in all people. But upon first impression, she may seem reserved and distant, despite the joy in her eyes and smile on her face. Her spirit may intimidate others, but it will be her heart that breaks, longing for friends who "get her". There will come a day when she comes home crying, claiming no one likes her, because everyone else is afraid of her. Afraid of what she'll say. Afraid of what she'll do. Afraid to admit she leads. This too, I know all too well.
As I was talking to my mama the other day about my alpha nature, she said, "it's about time you quit running from it, and start owning it. It is who you are." Her words struck me to my core because they were true. I deny my true nature when I seek to please everyone else. I deny God's craftsmanship when I believe the lies Satan and society put in my head. I cease to impact when I seek to conform, for the sake of being well-liked. And when I look at my Star, I know the same is going to be true for her.
As much as I'd love to boast (and sometimes joke, hello twos!) about her strong, decisive nature, a part of my heart breaks, knowing there will be hard days in the future. And on those hard, lonely days for my girl, I hope to tell her this.
-When the world seeks to conform, baby, lead. When the world sits quiet, afraid to stand up, baby, lead. When there are no warriors strong enough to fight, baby, lead. When all hope seems lost, baby, lead. When pride abounds, and reconciliation has yet to be found, baby humbly lead. When the world tears down and destroys, baby, lead. My darling, don't just be the change you hope to see in the world, lead the change. Lead others to Hope. Lead others to Grace. Lead others to the cross. This world is full of followers and conformers. It is full of judgement and skeptics. But pay them no mind. Your days may be lonely. Your work may seem futile. But you are not a failure. Your impact is not determined by the amount of people singing your praises. In fact your impact cannot be measured on earth, but know, with each step of obedience, with each choice to lead, you glorify the Creator who excellently crafted you this way. Don't run from your nature. Don't change for the fleeting praises of imperfect people. Own who you are. Honor Whose you are. Baby, lead.-
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2